Letters from the Lunar Outpost

Honor is but an empty bubble.
- Dryden, English Poet, Dramatist, and Critic (1631-1700)

Monthly Archives: March 2013

So a few people on the Internet couldn’t help but notice that after 16 years of existence, Google chose today as the day they would honor Cesar Chavez’ birthday . . .

Cesar Chavez Honored by Google on Easter Sunday

Today also happens to be Easter Sunday, the day that marks the Resurrection of Christ for the Christian faithful around the world, but hey, I don’t know why people are freaking out over Google’s choice of a leftist labor leader over the chosen Savior of two billion people. After all, Google has chosen to ignore Easter for thirteen straight years now. The last time Google recognized Easter was in their third year of existence back in 2000.

So I’m trying to figure out my reply to Google’s ongoing snub of the two billion faithful and I’m remembering how I was told that if you want to be a Christian, you should strive to be Christ-like in everything you do. Whenever you come to a decision point, you should ask yourself, WWJD – What Would Jesus Do? In this case, I asked myself, how would Jesus respond?

Unfortunately, I can’t really imagine what an Internet Jesus would tweet about this, so I decided to do the next best thing and take a positive course of action.

There, fixed it for you, Google!

Google Crown of Thorns

I’m also fixing the default search engine on all the browsers in the house as well.

Happy Easter, all.

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I Hate Danny Ainge

Danny Ainge might have been hated by fans outside of Boston for his constant complaining to the officials, but at least he had a good sense of humor about it.

As a general manager, you should probably leave the complaints about the officiating to your coach and try to be above all that, but that didn’t stop Danny Ainge from taking a shot at the officiating and LeBron James on Thursday:

I think the referees got the calls right. I don’t think it was a hard foul. I think the one involving LeBron against Boozer, that was flagrant. I think the officials got it right . . . I think that it’s almost embarrassing that LeBron would complain about officiating.

Coach Riley came back with some stark words in support of his star player:

“Danny Ainge needs to shut the f— up and manage his own team,” Riley said in a statement released through a Heat spokesman. “He was the biggest whiner going when he was playing and I know that because I coached against him.”

First time I’ve ever seen a coach drop an F-bomb in a statement released by his team’s spokesman. That is so much more emphatic than saying it off the cuff to a reporter.

And that is some serious smack talking there for Riley to call Danny Ainge out as the “biggest whiner going” when he was a player.

Ainge replied to the statement with some pretty good smack of his own:

I stand by what I said. That’s all. I don’t care about Pat Riley. He can say whatever he wants. I don’t want to mess up his Armani suits and all that hair goop. It would be way too expensive for me.

Pretty good comeback, but I think Riley wins that round. Not only does Riley know what a whiner Ainge was because he coached against Ainge in the NBA Finals in 1984, 1985 and 1987, but anyone who watched the game back then knows Riley’s words are true. I’d rather be known as a sharp-dressed man with my hair slicked back than the biggest whiner going.

Remembering how Danny Ainge used to cry on every call brings back all the memories of Showtime and being a Laker fan and loving L.A. and hating on the Celtics and even hating all of Boston itself and all the pasty-skinned fans that used to pack The Garden. (Of course, I say “hating” in just a sports fan kind of way.)

As ESPN reporter Stephen A. Smith said, complaining on every call was part of Ainge’s game plan. Might have been something a Celtics fan would cheer, but for anyone else watching, all that crying and complaining was completely insufferable. The only other guy I remember from that era who was as much of a non-stop whiner on the court was Bill Laimbeer. Don’t even get me started on that guy. But this little war of words really did bring back memories of all the fun of being a Laker fan in the 80s.

I think Celtics coach Doc Rivers summed it up best:

Asked if Rivers believes Riley’s statement could further stoke the Miami-Boston rivalry, Rivers noted, “Not unless they are playing. Really, I just think it’s talk both ways. I’ll let those two grown men handle their own grown-men argument. I’m going to stay out of it. On a side note, it just gives me a smile and it’s interesting. I think it’s fun. It’s a flashback.”

source: ESPN

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no-razors

Shaving and waxing of bikini lines could be behind an explosion in the number of cases of a type of sexually transmitted infection that causes unsightly warts, doctors are warning. Shaving the pubic region causes ‘micro-trauma’ of the skin, boosting the chance of a pox virus called Molluscum contagiosum, say the French experts. The virus causes water warts, small pink bubbles which can break out over the body. These warts are relatively common in children as the virus can be spread by normal skin-on-skin contact. However, it is also passed on during sexual activity, and over the last decade the incidence of this type of infection has been on the rise.

source: The Telegraph

I love the fact that the doctors even got into psychoanalyzing the factors behind this recent widespread fancy for excessive shaving:

They said the reason for opting for pubic hair removal remained “unclear”, “but may be linked with internet-based pornography”. “Another reason cited is an increased sexual sensation. There may also be psychological reasons, as an unconscious desire to simulate an infantile look or a desire to distance ourselves from our animal nature.”

Hey ladies, it’s yours and yours alone to do what you want with it, but consider me President of the Bush Loving Men of the World and allow me to be one voice calling proudly for a return to the au naturel!

Give up that infantile look, rediscover and celebrate your animal nature!

[mp3j autoplay=”y” track=”http://www.mikecornelison.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/closer.mp3″]


The excessive shaving I will never understand, but reality is, if you’ve got a rockin’ bod and you want to show it off (and you don’t happen to be Japanese, ever notice how most Japanese girls have a natural bikini trim?) if you want to rock that bikini, you will have to do some bikini area shaving.

In the public interest then, I share this article, which is probably common sense to most ladies, but it may inform or remind you of some of the things you can do to avoid the bumps:

How to Avoid Razor Bumps in the Bikini Area

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Russian Poster: Hand Over Your Weapons

Can you imagine the meeting where Joe Nocera either proposed it or was given the task of blogging a list of the worst gun violence he could dredge up across America on a daily basis? However it went down, they have a new feature at the NY Times website which selectively lists all the horrible uses of guns on a daily basis . . . to which I had to respond:

All the criminals and robbers and rapists and ganstas in America applaud your efforts to disarm America’s law-abiding citizens. – Mike Cornelison, The OC

and a thoughtful reply came back:

Mike,

Oh come on. No one is trying to disarm America’s law abiding citizens. You’ve been drinking tea from Wayne LaPierre’s teat if you believe that.

What people are trying to do is to find a way to make our society a safer place. One big thing would be to take unlicensed, unregistered guns from people who should not have them. Doing this would place a small responsibility on responsible gun owners to register their guns on a regular basis, like they do motor vehicles. This is not a violation of your rights, so don’t whine about violating the Second Amendment.

Take personal responsibility for yourself. If you want to own guns, show that you are capable of being a good citizen. Distinguish yourself from the criminals and robbers and rapists and gangstas and rednecks and hoarders and extremists and contribute to the society that provides you with the right to own a gun. – Them or Us, New York

to which I replied:

Uh yeah, you want every law-abiding gun owner in America in a national database, right? Don’t think it can’t happen here. I’m sure the Germans thought they were just voting for CHANGE in the 1930s. You’re comfortable with Obama’s Justice Department saying King, er – President Obama can act as judge, jury and executioner in using drone strikes on American citizens? I bet you howled in protest against the PATRIOT Act under Bush, only to be silent in reply to the expansion of the government’s powers to examine every email sent and received in America. Don’t think it can’t happen here, that we should all be good little lambs and put all our faith in the government to protect us when we’re just a couple more slips down a slippery slope until someone determines that all those doors of the gun owners in the national database need a visit.

The Clinton Justice Department identified 1.5 million cases per year of guns used for self defense. Let that sink in for a bit and then consider this – the Second Amendment came just after the first not for self-defense against criminals and robbers and rapists, but to ensure that the government would fear the people and not the other way around. – Mike Cornelison, The OC

The New York Times calls its new propaganda campaign, “The Day in Gun Violence in America”.

Notice the fact that not a single incident from Chicago is mentioned. Chicago, where the strictest gun control laws in America have been imposed on its law-abiding citizens and where more people are dying in Chicago’s streets than our soldiers in Afghanistan.

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So yesterday, Jim Carrey released his unfunny and idiotic Cold Dead Hand song portraying NRA members as just a bunch of dumb rednecks, completely oblivious to the fact that 90% of gun crime is committed by criminals who don’t give a damn about gun control, and by any measure, that song was a bomb. That song bombed almost as bad as that Bob Wonderlick movie, or whatever the heck they called his latest movie about magicians that nobody went to see. All you had to do is watch the Twitter hashtag to know how badly that song bombed, there are people with 100 followers whose timelines were scrolling faster than #ColdDeadHand. That hashtag was lucky if it was getting a tweet every other minute.

So while watching his hashtag crawl, I noticed this tweet:

 

How could I not respond to this?

 

Those Who Do Not Remember the Past Are Condemned to Repeat ItFirst, it brings to mind a famous quote: “Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

That photo is especially relevant here, because if you look closely at the image, you can see the dead bodies stacked on top of each other beneath the sign.

How do you think Jim Jones got those 918 people in Jonestown to line up one by one and drink their little cups of kool-aid, knowing that there was a lethal dose up cyanide in every cup?

Contrary to the popular misconception, it wasn’t just the brainwashing that got the people to drink knowingly of their suicides, it also just as much the fact that they knew if they resisted, they would be shot down like animals, because the only people in Jonestown who were armed were Jim Jones himself and a handful of his most trusted guards. Jonestown is just one of many many examples throughout history of what happens when the people in power make sure all the guns are in their hands.

Let’s return now to our smug European friend who says, “Come on ‘merica, you don’t need guns, watch EU!”

I’m laughing as I type this, laughing at his condescension that this guy has toward America and our right to bear arms after the history of what happened in Europe in the previous century.

to-conquer-a-nation-first-disarm-its-citizensGo back and study your 20th century European history, go back and study that history and tell us how well it worked out for the Europeans when they laid down their guns like lambs. Can you imagine how awesome that must have been to witness nation after nation in Europe falling under the grip of totalitarian rule as small bands of armed revolutionaries took quick control over the masses of unarmed people?

Once the tyrannies took hold of their respective European nations, those unarmed masses had very little means of acquiring guns and and freeing themselves of their despotic rulers, so there was nothing to stop these dictatorial regimes as they the dragged the entire world into not just one world war, but two world wars resulting in a death count of nearly 100 million soldiers and innocent civilians across the globe.

When you contemplate all the horrors that were wrought on the world by Europe in the 20th century, you would think that just out of common decency, the Europeans would realize we’re still too close to all that misery, carnage and death for any of those Euros to be making righteous moral judgments on any nation. As the saying goes, “too soon”. Maybe give it another century before enough time has passed where you might be distant enough from the 20th century to attempt to stand on a moral ground and make condemnations of other nations, especially when it comes to condemning a United States which bailed you out of two world wars that were both started on European soil and especially after the U.S. was the one thing that stopped the Soviet Union from steamrolling your entire continent under the misery of the Soviet control.

Russian Poster: Hand Over Your WeaponsOf course, the lessons of what happens when the citizens of a nation have no means to defend themselves against relatively small groups of armed revolutionaries storming to power, these lessons extend beyond Europe to the Russian landmass spanning both Europe and Asia, where Stalin killed and starved 43,000,000 unarmed Russians, followed by another 18,000,000 killed by subsequent Soviet Leaders. The slaughter of unarmed citizens extended on into Asia, with Mao Zedong in China, who slaughtered 64,000,000 of his unarmed citizens, with Pol Pot in Cambodia, who slaughtered 2,000,000 of his unarmed people (an incredible 28.4% of the population) and with the “Dear Leaders” Kim of North Korea, who have starved and executed a combined 2.4 million of their unarmed people. It also extends to Africa, where Idi Amin killed as many as 300,000 of his unarmed Ugandans, and into the Caribbean, with Fidel Castro, who killed 150,000 of his unarmed Cubans and jailed maybe twice as many for “political crimes”. Sadam Hussein had disarmed his public, Iran has disarmed its public, and we could go on and on . . .

But I think George Mason said it best . . .

To disarm the people is the most effectual way to enslave them.

It seems many Europeans can’t even remember their own history of the century just passed, so it bears repeating again: those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Never imagine that it could never happen here, just because we’re Americans. Don’t fool yourself, every government ever created has an irresistible impulse to expand it’s control into every aspect of our lives. That governmental compulsion towards absolute control is inevitable, it’s in every government’s DNA, it is the very nature of any government.

The only way to keep a government in check is to make sure the government fears us, the people, and not the other way around.

Never ever submit to laying down your arms like good little lambs and never ever put all your faith in an almighty benevolent government to be your sole protector against the wolves, because if given the chance, government will always become the ultimate wolf.

Remember history and remember that every time in history, when the people in control of the government are the only people who are armed, it’s always going to end badly. Always.

Those Other 29 Bullets are for David Gregory and all the Power Hunger, Liberty-Trampling Assholes of America

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Team of Rivals
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