Letters from the Lunar Outpost

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
- Mark Twain, American Humorist and Writer (1835-1910)

Monthly Archives: December 2015

When it comes to making your New Year’s resolutions, why set yourself up to fail with unrealistic epectations and unobtainable goals?

Far better to aim for success with these Can’t Fail New Year’s Resolutions:

10. I will eat what tastes good and not trouble myself with worries over whether it’s good for me.

9. I promise also to eat more pork and eat more meat in general as a way of saying thank you to God for not making me a Muslim or a vegetarian.

8. In the coming year, I will be more honest with people, no matter how much it might hurt their feelings. After all, honesty is the best policy. Always remember that people need to hear the truth because the truth shall set them free.

7. Should I decide to take up smoking again, I will abandon selfish thoughts about my own health and instead think about the well-being of the nearly 1/4 million Americans directly employed by the tobacco industry.

6. All year long, I will do my best to encourage Democrats to vote for Hillary Clinton on November 9th and I will make sure to cast my vote when Election Day arrives on November 8th.

5. I’m going to stop concerning myself about the plight of the poor people around the world. There are plenty of people struggling right here at home, and when I say home, I mean right here at my house.

4. If I spend a little time watching Internet porn in the coming year, I will not burden myself with feelings of guilt. I will also do my share to help support single mothers by making more trips to the local strip club.

3. I will devote even more time in the coming year to listening to audiobooks, because the more well-read I am, the more interesting and intelligent your friends and acquaintances are.

Someone Is Wrong on the Internet

2. This year, I will take all the time necessary to help people understand why they’re wrong when they post their muddle-headed opinions on the Internet.

1. Last but not least, I promise not to gloat when February rolls around and I’m the only one whose New Year’s resolutions are still intact.

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Here’s a little hack for those addicted to the Candy Crack.

You know the little side games that pop up, those little side tracks off the main map that give you an opportunity to win some extra prizes?

Candy Crush Hack

As shown in the example above, often times on these side tracks, you’re expected to get through all three levels with a single life. Thankfully, there’s a way around that!

Let’s say you just lost on level two or three, want to keep your place? Easy peasy – just pretend like you want to extend the game with a purchase by clicking “Play On” and then when it comes to the Candy Bank screen with the different purchase prices, close out of both the purchase window and the game window.

Candy Crush Hack

Open up Candy Crush again and you’ll still be at that same level you were at with another chance to take it down!

Works on both my Windows Phone (hold down the back button to close out both windows) and the Windows App on my Windows 10 laptop.

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Currently Listening To:

Team of Rivals
Doris Kearns Goodwin