Letters from the Lunar Outpost

Take away ambitions and vanity, and where will be your heroes and patriots?" Seneca, Roman Philosopher, Dramatist, and Statesman (B.C. 3-65 A.D.)

7.4 Earthquake Hits Near Alcapulco

When the first daughter is vacationing in a country the State Department has said all Americans should avoid and a 7.6 earthquake hits that country, I know the first question on most Americans minds is, “How’s Malia, her 25 secret service agents and the 12 classmates she brought along?”

Thankfully, the scattered media reports which even mention the first daughter’s adventures in Alcapulco, just 100 miles from the epicenter of the quake, tell us that Malia, her secret service agents and all her classmates in tow are fine.

More importantly, of course, is the question of what was the human toll of this massive earthquake on the larger scale, and thankfully I can tell you that there have been no reports of fatalities or heavy damage. (Note again the curious omission in the linked story here – a headline of an earthquake hitting a city where the first daughter is having her vacay and yet there’s no mention of her or her cadre’s status?)

So it looks like we were lucky in the fact that this 7.4 earthquake struck deep and in a largely unpopulated area of Mexico, but should there be any, I would just like to say a prayer for the victims of the Mexican earthquake: may every last one of you be members of the drug cartels.

UPDATE: received a reply from what seems to be an offended member of the drug cartels.

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