Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned.
- William Congreve, English Dramatist (1670-1729)
H.R. 658 A bill signed by Obama makes possible for the FAA to allow thousands of unmanned aerial vehicles, known as drones, in the U.S. airspace. In a couple years there could be as many as 30,000 drones swooping through American skies.
There’s a scene near the end of the movie 1984 when they’re crushing every last bit of human spirit out of Winston, and he has one last vision of him and his lover, naked in the fields, running toward each other and rolling together out in the countryside. A couple of my fondest memories were adventures in naturalism, a deserted park or moonlit beach, those romps may be relics of the past. Not just my past, but THE past. Even if you want to get back to nature under the canopy of a forest, they’ll surely have a thermal imaging camera to spot you right there in the act and dispatch the park rangers accordingly.
Of course, catching people having sex in public is not all those drones will be used for, but I can’t help but think what a sad thing it will be when a loving couple, maybe they don’t have enough for a hotel or maybe they just want a little adventure to spice things up, have to look around for a nice secluded spot and then keep their eyes on the skies as well.
Or if you wanted to go to the local park and spark up a bowl, there’s enough to be paranoid about worrying about cops driving by, and where helicopters gave ample warning, these drones can come out of nowhere, man! They’ll have that facial recognition down so pat that soon you’ll get a ticket in the mail just as sure as that photo that caught your license plate running a red light.
How about nude sunbathing in your own back yard? Sure there have been paparazzi taking distant shots of nude sunbathers from helicopters for a while no, but these drones can fly out of earshot with cameras so accurate everyone in the agency will be checking out exactly how you shave your girl patch. There really is something so Orwellian about all of it.
But hey, as much as we need to be vigilant in watching the many ways the government will abuse this technology (all in the name of the public good, right?) we also have to marvel at the wonders of how the Capitalist business man may put them to use. I give you the example of . . . TACOCOPTER
SALT LAKE CITY — The ability to have tacos delivered at their feet is an idea many people wouldn’t hesitate to get behind — especially when the tacos are being delivered by a robot.
The Tacocopter — an unmanned drone helicopter that gives customers tacos on demand — would without a doubt be wildly popular were it to exist throughout the nation.
Taco-hungry Americans could order and pay for tacos on their smartphones, which would supply GPS coordinates to the drone. Once ordered, the tacos would be delivered as long as the customer remained in the ordering location.
It exists in the Bay Area — in concept, at least. For now, the Tacocopter, which has existed since July 2011, has been grounded by the Federal Aviation Administration, as would be any unmanned commercial drone. According to FAA regulations, “unmanned aerial vehicles” cannot currently be used for commercial purposes.
For all the bad I can imagine in 30,000 government drones flying around America, this new legislation also seems to clear the path for commercial use. Imagine if every local delivery was made “as the crow flies”, no traffic lights, heck, no traffic whatsoever, pizza deliveries, courier services, and you’re not even killing the job of the driver, you’re simply taking an employee from behind the wheel to a computer monitor and joystick. And there won’t be any shortage of gamers from the upcoming generation who will be able to guide these drones and their cargo safely to the target coordinates just as smooth as can be.
Yes sir, your sushi should be there in about 5 minutes.
That sounds beautiful.