Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she: Be not her maid, since she is envious.
- Shakespeare, English Dramatist and Poet (1564-1616)
Ah, the college liberal.
You know her because you’ve met people just like her. She had her politics spoonfed to her by liberal professors and Comedy Central and she swallowed every spoonful without even thinking.
She surrounds herself with like-minded people because having your opinions challenged with different points of view is such a drag.
College Liberal Girl is at that wonderful age where she has an opinion on everything and a life experience that amounts to nothing.
Now, selected from all her great pearls of wisdom cast all over the Internet, here it is! It’s . . .
College Liberal Girl’s Top 13 Greatest Quotes
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During the height of the Cold War in the 1980s, Yakov Smirnoff immigrated to America from the USSR, telling jokes about how bad life really was living under Communism. His “In Soviet Union” jokes are especially memorable:
In America, you can always find a party.
In Soviet Russia, Party always find you!
In America, you break law.
In Soviet Russia, law breaks you!
In America, your work determines your marks.
In Soviet Russia, Marx determines your work!
In America, you assassinate presidents.
In Soviet Russia, presidents assassinate you!
In America, you watch Big Brother.
In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches you!
Well, as you can see below, I felt it was time to create a new genre about our own nightmare: