Letters from the Lunar Outpost

Hatreds are the cinders of affection.
- Walter Raleigh, English Statesman and Man of Letters (1552-1618)

News

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covfefe

Do you want to know what covfefe is? I can tell you exactly what covfefe is. To the casual observer “covfefe” was a late night typo tweeted by President Trump, a typo that the Trump-Hating Media went wall-to-wall in covering – “Oh look, the president tweeted a typo! The president tweeted a typo!”

media obsession with covfefe

Now do you want to know what covfefe really is?

Covfefe is a delivery system for a subliminal message tweeted straight from the president’s thumbs into your subconscious brain.

Ask yourself, how many hundreds of times was President Trump able to get the media to flash this tweet in front of the eyeballs of millions of Americans? Now ask yourself this – how much of eveyone’s attention was focused directly on the one unknown word at the end, with little to no attention paid to the five words leading up to it?

While your mind was focused directly on figuring out what the heck a “covfefe” is, the other five words bypassed all your conscious defenses completely and lodged themselves into the deepest part of your brain. Donald Trump used a nonsense word to deliver a subliminal message to all of America, and even the blindest of the blind Trump haters had no defense against it because the message slipped through, hardly even noticed. Ignored by the conscious brain, the words “Despite the constant negative press” were delivered to the deepest parts of America’s subconscious brains, over and over, and all thanks to the Trump-Hating Media.

Once again, Donald Trump is making the Trump-Hating Media dance like the unwitting little puppets they are.

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton may have lost the election, but she does win the award for the most sore loser ever in a presidential election . . .

Hillary wins the award for the most sore loser ever in a presidential election.

Hey Hillary, America hates a sore loser. For those of us who refused to vote for either one of you, all you’re doing is making us more and more glad it was Trump who won and not your bitter ass.

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Islamic Terror Targets Gay Bar in Florida

You would think the very first priority of president would be the safety and security of the citizens who elected him, but when it comes to allowing immigration from countries where so many people hate us, our current president seems willing to roll the dice, despite the fact that we know so many of the terror attacks in Europe have been perpetrated by immigrants from those very same countries.

Barack Obama has been called "the first gay president".

When you look at the world around us, Muslim countries are the only countries on the face of the Earth where being gay is considered a crime punishable by death. Now that this latest incident of Islamic terror has been targeted at a gay bar in Florida, maybe now – finally – the man who has been called “our first gay president” will rethink his policy of opening the flood gates to these cesspools of radicalism.

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I don’t want to see a President Trump almost as much as I don’t want to see a return to the White House of the Clinton kleptocracy, but every time we see more reports of anti-Trump rioters assaulting women, waving Mexican flags and burning the American flag, we also see Trump’s poll numbers going up as well.

trump-protesters

Beyond the irony that these protesters seem intent on proving there’s some truth in Trump’s statements about illegal immigrants, it makes me wonder . . .

Why Are the Anti-Trump Protesters Out There Helping Donald Trump's Cause?

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I got all the supplies to set up two phones in the new office, for $52 each we’ll be running two magicJacks, they come with a year of service (big savings over one year’s service for two traditional lines) I got the Ethernet cables, I got the phone cords and previously, I brought an old landline phone I wasn’t using to the new office.

Now it’s 8pm, I have to leave for the office at seven in the morning and I realize I have everything I need to set things up except for . . . the second phone! It’s 8pm, most of the local stores are already shut down and if you haven’t noticed, those old landline phones are getting harder and harder to find.

To the rescue comes Amazon Now! It was only $15 for a landline phone (I had to pad the order with a bathroom scale and a 6 pack of ramen noodles to get the total up over the minimum $30) and it’ll be delivered to my door in 2 to 4 hours. Thank you, Amazon Now!

Having just launched the service, So. Cal. is one of only five areas in the U.S. which Amazon Now is serving, but what a convenience! It’s 8pm, and I can head up to the office long before the rest of the retail stores open and not have to worry about stopping off and trying to figure out who even sells those old school phones anyways.

With Black Friday, we already see that year after year, people are avoiding the crush of the crowds and that more of the money spent is being spent online. Just imagine what will happen when Amazon Now expands itself to bigger swaths of the country and more and more people can see an online order as not something that will arrive day after tomorrow, but two hours from now?

When Jeff Bezos’ dream of drone delivery passes federal regulations and you have a bunch of drone jockeys in a bunker bypassing traffic to fly straight through the air from point A to point B, then you’ll have Amazon Now as reliable out in the rural areas as it is here in So. Cal.

It’s all good and awesome from my perspective as a consumer, but I can only wonder, when you can get your goods from Amazon Now delivered in a couple hours to your door, what’s going to happen to all those brick and mortar businesses? What’s going to happen to all those stores in the shopping malls and the strip malls? Are we going to be living in a wasteland of abandoned plots and plummeting real estate values for the strip malls?

I have this vision where we’ll all be living in a future where everything can be delivered to your door in under two hours, but we’ll all be driving around towns that will look something like this:

abandoned

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The Ugly Truth About Yelp

Today, I saw a lot of news organizations running stories about Yelp suing South Park for $10 million dollars for lampooning the company in their latest episode. Unfortunately for those news organizations, the story which had briefly topped Google News just isn’t true.

A Yelp spokesperson says the company isn’t actually suing South Park and Comedy Central, and reports of the news came from a hoax site, which Google News briefly attributed to NBC. “We have no interest in legal action against the fantastic team that makes the South Park magic happen,” the spokesperson told Eater.

source: The Week

Those news organizations may have gotten scammed, but it’s nothing compared to the scam Yelp ran for many years on businesses and the public at large.

The scam Yelp was running was so blatant, I really can’t believe they got away with it for as long as they did. Basically, the way it worked was that as a business, if you were willing to sign up for a business account and pay the monthly fee, then any time you would receive a negative review, it was as simple as a phone call to your Yelp account manager to get that review removed.

By the time the company I was working for decided to quit paying Yelp for their service (a more accurate term might be “extortion fees”) we had a total of 34 reviews removed from the front page and buried behind a small link that called them “other reviews that are not currently recommended” (and thus, were not factored into our Yelp score).

Of course, that all was exposed to the public at large when Yelp was sued for their extortion schemes and people realized not only were businesses forced into a paying into the equivalent of a mafia-style protection scam but that because of this, Yelp was completely unreliable as a service to everyone else looking to vet businesses.

Rumor has it that all the lawsuits filed against them forced them to reconsider their tactics, but after all the sleazy practices that I saw running rampant in that organization, personally I would never, ever trust Yelp for an opinion on anything.

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Team of Rivals
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Doris Kearns Goodwin