What I possess I would gladly retain. Change amuses the mind, yet scarcely profits.
- Goethe, German Poet, Dramatist, Novelist, and Scientist (1749-1832)
In my most formative years as a teenager, I managed to get my hands on the Jim Morrison bio, No One Here Gets Out Alive. I read that book and then I read it a second time.
That book grabbed me, I even took notes as I read it. All through reading it, the fact that I was so enthralled with a self-destructive rock star who only lived to see the age of 27 never even registered a blip in my mind.
No One Here Gets Out Alive probably had more of a profound effect on me than any book I’ve ever read before or since. Beyond the crazy stories of this out-of-control rock star who had the soul of a poet, I was fascinated by how Morrison wanted to destroy the limits of all social conventions and obliterate the bounds of reality.
The book features a quote by William Blake that seems to exemplify the drive behind everything that motivated Morrison, “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.”
I took that philosophy to my own heart as well. I felt the only freedom worth perusing was the ultimate freedom found through reveling in complete abandon. Whatever I could get a hold of, I’d take it to the extreme, whoever I could get my hands on I’d have them and make them and then my mind would move immediately to wondering who would be next.
The ultimate reality for me, however, was that the road of excess led to a den of inequity. The freedom of that excessive lifestyle ended up in my enslavement to drunkenness and debauchery.
It’s time for me to now accept a new brainwash where I can unprogram all the compulsions I’ve developed for self-abuse, self-destruction and humiliation over all these years. The time has come for some serious changes.
To all my friends across the blogosphere and throughout the twitterverse, it’s been such a privilege sharing some time with you, I’ve appreciated all the reads and retweets you’ve given me, I’ve cherished the comments you’ve made and the dialogs we’ve had.
So it’s been a blast, but I’m going to have to take a break from the blogging and this whole Internet-thing altogether.
God bless Christian charities, because I’m headed to an open bed that’s available at the Salvation Army. The program is pretty hardcore, this “break from the blogging” involves no Internet (90 days) no cell phones, I don’t think I can even get an onsite visit for 30 days, I’ll be working full-time to earn my room and board with a $5 a week salary for expenses like laundry detergent and toiletries. Most importantly, though, is it’s a faith-based recovery program, so I’ll be getting to know Jesus better than I ever have in my life.
So I’ll be out of contact until the end of November. I’ll even be missing the election for the first time in my life (no worries there, mine would have been nothing but a symbolic vote anyway in a California that’s blue beyond any hope of redemption) so I won’t be casting a vote, but toward the end of that month of November, I’ll be looking forward to seeing you all and returning with a vengeance! Who knows? Perhaps I’ll be returning maybe just a little less belligerent but a good deal sharper.
Hope life is good to you all in the meantime. Fight the good fight, love your loved ones and try to view your every day as a gift (even those days that totally suck.)
I’ll see you all soon. Take care,