Letters from the Lunar Outpost

The things which belong to others please us more, and that which is ours, is more pleasing to others.
- Publilius Syrus, Syrian-Born Roman Writer of Aphorisms (fl. B.C. 42)

LeBron James Haters Gon' Hate

After nine years in the league, and three trips to the Finals, LeBron James finally gets a ring for those ringless fingers.

Haters gon’ hate and yeah, I’m gonna keep on hatin’ too, because LeBron James is the most unlikable, least charismatic player in the entire league. Take the top 50 players in the league, and it would be a pleasure and a privilege to meet 49 of them, but I’d rather shake hands with a dentist who’s about to tell me I need a root canal than shake hands with this guy.

How much do I dislike LeBron as a player? Put it this way, if he got traded to the Lakers tomorrow, that would be the end my lifelong love affair with them.

Bill Laimbeer Went His Entire Career Thinking He'd Never Committed a FoulAnd I am not at all a player hater, you have to go all the way back to the NBA days of the goofy little short shorts to find the last time I really couldn’t stand an NBA player this much, all the way back to the days of Bill Laimbeir and the “Bad Boy” Pistons.

Laimbeer was a guy who specialized in the flagrant foul (as a matter of fact, it’s said the NBA instituted rules addressing the flagrant foul because of Bill Laimbeer) and yet no matter how obvious most of the calls against him were, almost every single time you’d see him launch into a wild, gyrating protestation like he’d just been dealt the greatest injustice in league history.

And yet even with all the elbows and the cheap shots and the histrionics and even adding to that some of the most blatant flopping you’ve ever seen, even with all that, I still don’t think Laimbeer was any more annoying than the guy who began calling himself King James back in his high school days. I’m pretty sure none of that will change now that the ringless “king” has become the “chosen one” of the one ring.

LeBron James Disappointed All of Cleveland on Live TV

Q: What kind of asshole does it take to hold the hearts of an entire city hostage through an entire season, only to let them know on live TV that he’s going elsewhere?

A: A king-sized asshole.

But beyond the infamous “Decision” on live TV that broke Cleveland’s heart and looking past the fact that LeBron has shown himself a poor sport in dissing fellow players on the post-game handshakes and ignoring for a second the way even the most clever commercial writer can’t make this guy seem affable for a mere thirty-second spot, I think it was the way LeBron took to the Heat management’s lame idea of a parade and celebration before they’d ever won a single game that really sealed the deal for me as far as being resolved to root against LeBron and Co. for as long as they play the game:

I can’t even stand to watch that whole dog and pony show with all the premature fireworks and hoopla, so I included the transcript if you can’t stomach it either.

Here’s LeBron, asked about bringing a championship to Miami:

Not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven . . . hey, and when I say that, and when I say that, I really believe it, you know, I’m not just up here blowin’ smoke and none of these fans, um, because that’s not what I’m about, I’m about business.”

I can only wonder what Michael Jordan was thinking watching this, sitting at home with his six rings while LeBron, having won absolutely nothing up to that point in his career, was talking about winning eight rings like it was nothing, as if it was already a done deal.

I also love the fact that there were 1,343 people who voted “dislike” on that video as opposed to the 330 Miami fans that liked it.

. . . we gon’ challenge each other in practice and uh, the way we gon’ challenge each other in practice, once the game starts, I mean, it’s gonna be easy.

Wow. There are some unwritten rules in the league, first and foremost being that you never snitch on another player for leaving the club with a woman who’s not his wife, but I’m pretty sure there’s also somewhat of an unspoken rule among these professional athletes that you should never make an ass of yourself by disrespecting your fellow players and dismissing the talent of the entire league by saying things like it’s all going to be easy once the games start.

So after nine years in the league, LeBron finally came through on his third trip to the NBA Finals. Hooray for you, LeBron, but you still suck. That’s not just Cleveland saying that, that’s just about everyone outside of Miami saying that. You suck because you’re the least likable man in all the NBA and you suck because you’re still seven championships shy of your own prediction.

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6 Responses to LeBron Haters Gon’ Hate

  • Please you sound like a whiny little b***h, your little feeling hurt. He won a championship, he was never gonna win in Cleveland, no team ever does. Are you even a real sports writer, because you sound like someone whose heart was broken. Lebron James doesn’t care about you! He admitted he made some mistakes and has grown and moved on. You should think about doing the same. I bet you have never even met Lebron, just another whiny ass hater. Skip Bayless is this really you!!!! GTFOH

    • LOL at “Skip Bayless is this really you!!!”

      Reality? Outside of Florida and the Washington folks who were punked out of their Supersonics, all America was rooting against the Heat:

      ESPN Poll Shows 48 States Hate the Heat

      Wonder why that is? Could it be because LeBron is the least likable guy in the NBA? I think so. He’s got mad skills, no one can take that away from him, and he finally put together a playoff run that will do a lot to erase his previous status as biggest 4th quarter choker in NBA playoffs history, but none of that will change the fact that he’s completely unlikable. I think even Heat fans have to try to convince themselves that they like the guy.

      He serves his purpose for the league, though. Every good movie has a good villain, and for the NBA, LeBron and the Heat serve as Darth Vader and the Galactic Empire and I will root for any team that can hold them down to one ring in the LeBron era.

  • Haven’t chimed in for quite some time Mike, but this one is just sad. I guess there is something to be said for feeling like you gain something by taking away from others. I’d hate to think of how bored you’re going to be when there is nothing left for you to disdain. Quick question: what kind of person accomplishes anything being preoccupied with the activities of others? Hope it works out for you. 🙂

    • “what kind of person accomplishes anything being preoccupied with the activities of others?”

      A sports fan? LOL.

    • Just to put it another way, I hate LeBron the way a Red Sox fan hates the Yankees. Nothing weird or sad about that, it’s part of the fun of being a sports fan.

  • Hey Mike,

    We posted a bunch of radio show archives about important issues like the NDAA, the Bilderberg meeting, Fukishima, global debt & more,…but out of all of the shows that we have posted lately, we have had TONS of feedback on the “Cleveland Sports fan, Brian Engelman Reacts to LeBron Winning a Championship With The Heat”.

    You might enjoy listening to the radio show, leaving your comments, & reading the other 60 or 70 comments below the video.


    Lots to say, nice to read your article, and we’ll continue marching onward toward the path of self-expression.

    Go Cavs!

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