Letters from the Lunar Outpost

Anger is momentary madness.
- Horace, Italian Poet (B.C. 65-8)

Yelena Isinbayeva London Olympic Games

MOSCOW (AP) ā€” Pole vault great Yelena Isinbayeva condemned homosexuality Thursday after criticizing fellow competitors who painted their fingernails in rainbow colors to support gays and lesbians in the face of a new anti-gay law in Russia.

The Russian, who won her third world title Tuesday in front of a boisterous home crowd, came out in favor of the law which has drawn sharp criticism and led Western activists to call for a boycott of next year’s Winter Olympics in the Russian resort of Sochi.

“If we allow to promote and do all this stuff on the street, we are very afraid about our nation because we consider ourselves like normal, standard people,” Isinbayeva, a two-time Olympic champion, said in English. “We just live with boys with woman, woman with boys.”

“Everything must be fine. It comes from history. We never had any problems, these problems in Russia, and we don’t want to have any in the future.”

source: Fox NY

 

Hello Yelena,

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Mike Cornelison and I am one of your biggest fans. I heard your recent comments about a place of normal, standard people where boys live with women and women with boys and I have to say I was intrigued and I wondered if you could possibly help me find that place myself.

Here is my deep dark confession along with a plea for your help – I am a 44-year-old American male and I am gay. Can you please cure me? I’m willing to do whatever’s necessary and I think you have everything it would take to turn this gay man straight.

Remove the makeup and your face reminds me of a Russian peasant woman whose only defining feminine characteristic is the babushka scarf covering her head. Along with your handsome face, you also have the upper body of a well-toned man, so to my queer eyes, we’re already halfway home from the top moving downwards.

I’ve also always admired the masterful way you hold a pole so firmly in both your hands. With me, you will definitely have your hands full.

At a time when relations between our two great nations are at their lowest point since the Cold War, just think what a wonderful statement the two of us could make in sacrificing our bodies for peace and unity between Mother Russia and the U.S. of A. Think of what a great service you would be doing for the world as a whole in removing such a virile man as me from the ranks of the not-normal and un-standard men.

If you can teach me to do whatever it is that heterosexuals do (no matter how many spray cans it might take) I would be forever grateful.

Yelena Isinbayeva London Olympic Games

 

Yours truly,

Mike

 

 

P.S. Hey Yelena, I do think you are incredibly hot and were my wife to allow it, I would love to pole vault you to ecstasy, but if we never get the chance share that, please allow me to share just four simple words: Live and let live.

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2 Responses to Letter to Yelena Isinbayeva

  • Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
    She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
    How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
    Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

    Mirrors on the ceiling,
    The pink champagne on ice
    And she said “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device”

    Last thing I remember, I was
    Running for the door
    I had to find the passage back
    To the place I was before

    šŸ™‚

    • Nice connection. I do love the way she talks about “boys with woman, woman with boys.” She probably drives a Benz too, certainly nothing that ever came out of a Russian factory.

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