Letters from the Lunar Outpost

O, Jealousy, thou ugliest fiend of hell! thy deadly venom preys on my vitals, turns the healthful hue of my fresh cheek to haggard sallowness, and drinks my spirit up.
- Hannah More, English Author (1745-1833)

A little over ten years in, my vote for the most insane story of the 21st century? The cartoon riots of 2005. Riots. Over Cartoons. Cartoon riots! 139 people dead, rioting over cartoons.

The cartoons were so offensive, it was enough to make even the most peace-loving Imam issue a death fatwa on all involved:

The problem, of course, was that these were depictions of Muhammed (peace be upon him) and depictions of Mohammed are forbidden by Islam.

The explanation from the Danish Newspaper, Jyllands-Posten on why they would act as cartoon publishing agents of Shaitan?

The modern, secular society is rejected by some Muslims. They demand a special position, insisting on special consideration of their own religious feelings. It is incompatible with contemporary democracy and freedom of speech, where one must be ready to put up with insults, mockery and ridicule. It is certainly not always attractive and nice to look at, and it does not mean that religious feelings should be made fun of at any price, but that is of minor importance in the present context. […] we are on our way to a slippery slope where no-one can tell how the self-censorship will end. That is why Morgenavisen Jyllands-Posten has invited members of the Danish editorial cartoonists union to draw Muhammad as they see him. […]

and further excuse making from the freedom-loving infidels (death be upon them):

The cartoonists treated Islam the same way they treat Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and other religions. And by treating Muslims in Denmark as equals they made a point: We are integrating you into the Danish tradition of satire because you are part of our society, not strangers. The cartoons are including, rather than excluding, Muslims.

How dare those Danish piles of pig excrement imagine they can have a free society and free speech in their own country! How dare they! I think the following protestors both said it best:

Freedom Go to Hell

Freedom go to hell, indeed! Live free or die??? Ha! Religion of Peace or DIE!!!

It is tough work though, for one religion to carry out 16,000 terrorist acts in less than 10 years since September 11, 2001. Even the most ardent followers of the Religion of Peace need to take a break from the demanding schedule of all the suicide bombing and acid attacks on school girls to have a little laugh every now and then, so in the name of good clean fun and multiculturalism, I would like to show the people of Denmark a proper way of making a Mohammed cartoon without actually depicting Mohammed, and thereby avoiding offending anyone:

I call this cartoon . . .

Mohammed’s Favorite T-shirt:

Mohammed Says, "My Favorite Bride Is the 9 Year-Old."

The truth about Mohammed’s favorite bride: wikiislam.net

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