Letters from the Lunar Outpost

Variety of uniformities makes complete beauty.
- Christopher Wren, English Architect (1632-1723)

After finally defeating Hillary Clinton in one of the most drawn out and contentious Democrat primaries in recent memory and finally reaching the finish line, in his primary victory speech Barack Obama promised America this:

“This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.”

source: HuffPo – Obama’s Nomination Victory Speech

The Messiah Has Failed Colorado



So when the greatest wildfires in Colorado history hit, the obvious question was, where was the messiah in his duties of healing the earth and stopping the fires?


98% of the time Obama goes infront of the press, he reads prepared remarks from his teleprompter and then quickly leaves the podium before any questions can be asked, but were I given a media pass and afforded the opportunity to ask a question, here’s what I would ask:


Mr. President, your defense budget cuts 65 C-130 aircraft from our national fleet at a time when the available planes are stretched to their thinest by your escalated war in Afghanistan. These C-130 planes can be fitted to drop 3,000 gallons of fire-retardent material in 5 seconds and are our most powerful weapon againt raging wildfires such as the one in Colorado which has now become the worst in state history.

As the man who promised to America that he would be the president who would slow the rise of the oceans and heal the planet, how do you explain the fact that your policies have actually made worse the attempt to slow the massive wildfires in Colorado?

To which I’m quite certain he’d reply something to the effect of:

Let me be clear, our administration inherited an unprecedented level of drought and high temperatures across the nation, which caused the unprecedented amount of dry brush in Colorado which has fueled this unprecedented firestorm.

Make no mistake about it, it was the policies of the previous administration that were responsible for the climate change in America, so to remedy this, our administration has created an all-powerful EPA which answers to no one. By bypassing and circumventing all existing laws and even Congress itself, this administration’s EPA has been given free reign to fine, harass and destroy any businesses that it deems as having contributed to this unseasonable pattern of hot summer temperatures and climate change in general.

The solution is clear. It won’t happen overnight. There will be setbacks and false starts, but ultimately, we can borrow enough money from China to have all of my billionaire campaign donors receive lucrative government contracts to install solar panels on every building in America and end once and for all the scourge of dry brush and hot summers in America.

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7 Responses to Obama and the Colorado Wildfires

  • Are you a speech writer for the president? Great piece!

  • I just have one question. Could the president be held responsible for crimes against the environment? 😀

    On a more serious note, thank you for writing this piece! Time to take it and make some liberal heads explode and some other conservatives ROFL! Let me be clear, you nailed Obama perfectly. Loved this piece. I will be spreading the love. 😀

  • To which I would add:

    My people put together a study which revealed that all of the charred remains belong to people who vigorously opposed Obamacare, while the untouched structures belong to proponents of my great accomplishment. This goes to prove that Allah is with us.

  • Obama’s insincerity, coupled with his delay in addressing the rampant fires in Colorado, resembled “Brownies” debacle following the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina….hardly surprising!! No doubt this arrogant, condescending, obnoxious and totally insincere joke of a President, is of the opinion, he’s “doing a heck of job,” and has already secured a second term in office. However, throughout his tenure, he’s failed to deliver, period.

    Here are a few of this Presidents four year “achievements”; Record budget deficit, Out of control government spending, Pathetic job creation, Continued Job losses, Continued mortgage foreclosures, Support for the Muslim Brotherhood, Drastically reducing the defence budget, and substantially reducing troop numbers,, whilst Russia and China, have substantially increased both it’s budget, and troop capacities, Our moral authority in the world is questionable, at best, and Racial disharmony/prejudice has reared it’s ugly head over the past four years. .

  • Being a resident of Colorado Springs, I find the visit of President Obama dutiful but not inspired. Your piece is excellent. What strikes me more however is the comment by Bob Beckel on The Five (FNC) that these fires wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t build in the trees and had let them burn unheeded in the past. The US Govt owns much of our state and others in the West which are also burning. If the Gov’t does so much to help Americans why do they not bear the brunt of the blame when the wildfires happen? Because some things are beyond man’s control and the Left cannot admit that humans are not at fault, so they blame the victims. We do not know what caused the Waldo Canyon fire to start. It was probably lightning. It may have been arson, crazy people are ever present. The truly sad thing isn’t the property damage. It is the two people who refused to leave their home and died. The truly forgotten in the news…

  • Cute. Probably be fun for you. Has to be growing tiresome and old, however. Good news is conservatives will love you and liberals will loathe you and scoff at you for this piece; thats always fun. The bad news is your clever rant won’t stop these fires from burning or help Mitt Romney stop future fires or help those businesses ruined by the EPA resurrect/stay alive. Moreover you were wrong about one thing, we borrow from ourselves at interest more than we borrow from the Chinese – the latter just own our bonds. Your precious tea partiers and conservatives won’t protect you from fractional reserve banking, they are more the beneficiaries of it than your oft maligned liberal targets. So I hope you own a lot of stock, because if you don’t you’re just a pawn on an ideological chess board set out against your own best interests.

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