Letters from the Lunar Outpost

Beauty is but a flower Which wrinkles will devour; Brightness falls from the air; Queens have died young and fair; Dust hath closed Helen's eye.
- Thomas Nashe, English Satirist (1567-1601)

So I’m reading over the latest at US American Freedom and there’s a post about potential GOP vice presidential candidates and how Fox News was discussing (albeit jokingly) the possibility of Tim Tebow as a vice presidential candidate (and yes, they did mention that pesky little detail that he doesn’t make the age requirement) and it got me to thinking . . .

Could we really be doing any worse than what we have? We have a president who threatened America by telling us that if his Democrat-controlled Congress didn’t rush through the $787 billion “stimulus” package, that unemployment could rise to as high as 8%, only to see him get his wishes and then see unemployment rise even higher than 10%! Now here we are, over three years later, and in a single term that’s still unfinished, Obama has racked up more debt than all presidents from George Washington up to the Bush presidency combined and we’re still above 8% unemployment???

Think about Obama’s “signature achievement”, Obamacare. Outside of a few closed door meetings with union leaders, the president was almost entirely disconnected from the process. He just left it up to Congress to sort out the details, not even putting up a fight to make good on two of his most important campaign promises: that the bill would have a single payer option and that he would never sign a bill with an individual mandate. If you think about it, “signature achievement” is an apt description for it because Obama’s greatest contribution to Obamacare was simply putting his signature on it.

How hard can the job be when you spend all day either golfing, doing fundraisers or reading off a teleprompter?Seriously, how hard can the job be when you spend all day either golfing, doing fundraisers or reading off a teleprompter?

Why don’t we just say no to all these people who make it their lives’ ambitions to become career politicians? Why don’t we just give in completely to our national obsession with pop culture and start electing a bunch of celebrities with zero experience in politics. I mean, think about it – could a President Kim Kardashian really have done any worse than what we have?

People might wring their hands and say, “But, but, but . . . but what about EXPERIENCE???” Don’t even talk to me about experience when in 2008, we elected a president who had only landed in the Senate four years earlier and who flat-out admitted he was too inexperienced to run for president.

First, get rid of that archaic age requirement of 35. If you’re old enough to vote, you should be old enough to vote for yourself.

Next, ban anyone who has ever held an elected office. Bam! In one fell swoop, you’ve eliminated the most corrupt segment of society from even being able to run for president.

Contestant for President Does FaceplantFinally, turn the election into more of a Dancing with the Stars format. Ditch the old lingo of “candidates” for president and call them “contestants” for president. Make it something people would actually want to tune in to and watch, a competition, something like Survivor meets Wipeout. Who wouldn’t want to see a presidential contestant covered in mud, trying to navigate those big red bouncy balls, slipping and doing a face plant?

Imagine the excitement of tuning in each week and knowing that one presidential contestant was going to get voted off the show that very night! Oh my God, who’s it going to be?

Imagine how many more people would get involved in the process if you could just phone in your vote instead of having to suffer the undue burden of travelling to a polling place. Ah yes, the modern day convenience of phoning your vote in, and really, doesn’t it make sense that the more excited you are about a candidate, the more votes you should be able to phone in? Yeah, that’s right, vote early and vote often. Why not? The Democrats have been doing it since the days of Boss Tweed and Tammany Hall.

Imagine the ratings. Imagine all the money we could put towards paying down the debt with the advertising revenues!

I’m sick and tired of all these prefab presidential candidates. What we need is pop culture celebs, baby! Forget presidential candidates, we need presidential contestants!

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10 Responses to The Case for a Real Presidential Contest

  • Funny stuff Mike. Sorry about Santorum.

    • Thanks. I was more upset when the liberal media lynched Herman Cain to tell the truth.

  • “Lynched”! He had had affairs through his job as union leader and pizza executive. The liberal media has done nothing to tarnish the republican candidates. I assumed your title Presidential Contestants” was a sign of enlightened wisdom regarding Newt and Mitt.

    • “the broadcast network news outlets of ABC, CBS and NBC ran a total of 84 stories on the sexual harassment allegations against Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain in the week following Politico publishing its hit piece.

      That is more coverage than they gave to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama’s connections to domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, convicted real estate developer Tony Rezko, or America-hating Rev. Jeremiah Wright throughout the entire campaign.”


      84 stories in a single week about some 20-year old he said / she said allegations? Yeah, it was a lynching.

      Re: Newt and Mitt, I think the better man won, and I’ll be giving Mitt my full-fledged support. Just the thought alone of liberals going apoplectic the day a Mormon is sworn in as president makes me want to get out and volunteer.

  • Mike,

    You always have a unique way of putting things into perspective. I like your style. 🙂

  • Well we all know politicians have three different points of view one is their private opinions, another their party views the third is their public oratation but remember they ALL go and do something different Monty Python or what…

    • Pretty much nailed it there, Michael.

      I say we give people who don’t even have a point of view a try. LOL.

  • Agree Mike like my wife says every time she watches Hunt for Red October and gets to the “I’m a politician, whilst I’m kissing the baby I’m stealing it’s lollipop” so true so true. It would so refreshing to hear one of them answer truthfully and the actual question they were asked lol

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