Posts Tagged ‘super bowl’
On his last Meet the Press appearance of 2012, host David Gregory broke Washington D.C. gun laws by waving around a high-capacity magazine in front of the cameras, after NBC had already requested and been denied permission to do so by D.C. police. The prediction for 2013? Despite over 16,000 signatures on a White House petition to press charges, anti-gun crusaders higher up in government will convince the police and the D.A. not to seek charges (after all, those anti-gun laws were always intended for the little people, not the ruling elite, right?) So much for equality under the law, Gregory breaks the law on national TV and walks away scot-free.
On February 3, 2013, Peyton Manning leads the Broncos to victory in Super Bowl XLVII. In what looked like a risky trade in putting all the Broncos’ hopes on the surgically repaired neck of an aging veteran, John Elway ends up looking like a genius. A great cosmic wrong is also righted in Peyton’s having had only one Super Bowl ring to brother Eli’s two.
After global temperatures have been in standstill for the past fifteen years, we will see a slight decline in global temperatures in 2013. Even with temperatures declining, global warming alarmists will continue blaming each catastrophic weather event on man-made emissions, shelving their former term of “warming” in favor of the all-encompasing “climate change”. We could point out to the alarmists that hurricanes and floods and droughts have been ravaging the planet for all human history long before there ever was an industrial revolution, but what would it change? There will always be a group of people making a racket out of blaming the weather on all the other people. Before the industrial revolution, these same kinds of people would go around telling anyone who’d listen about the undeniable evidence that we were praying to the wrong gods or the clear consensus that we weren’t sacrificing enough virgins.
2012 saw the death of Twinkies as Hostess was unable to work out a deal with striking union workers to keep the company solvent. 2013 will see the brand sold to a Chinese company. Unlike urban legend might lead you to believe, the actual shelf-life of a Twinkie is only twenty-five days, so the company doesn’t ship from China but instead buys bakeries in Mexico. The former American icon will then be owned by the Chinese and shipped from south of the border. Thanks, unions!
While Windows 8 was released to rave reviews from many users of touch devices, many PC users were less than thrilled over the new operating system, with the step towards a tile-based interface and an emphasis on single-screen apps causing some to quip that Microsoft’s new OS should be called Microsoft “Window” instead of “Windows”. 2013 goes a long way to vindicate Microsoft’s strategy of a unified platform between all devices however, as Windows 8 makes modest but steady inroads on phones, tablets and hybrids while PC users begin to adapt and see the wisdom of one OS to rule them all.
After Microsoft flooded 2012′s holiday TV programming with ads for their Surface devices, Apple will focus their efforts in 2013 to address the one thing that keeps the iPad from being an all-in-one replacement for desktops and laptops, namely, the lack of a self-contained keyboard. 2013 will see Apple release an iPad / laptop hybrid with slide-out keyboard, just in time for the holidays.
While many complained that 2012′s breakout TV show, Honey Boo Boo, marked a new low in reality show exploitation, the televised exploitation pales in comparison to the meager $5,000 per episode TLC was paying the Boo Boo Clan for the channel’s highest rated show. Give credit to TLC, however, they stepped up after season one and approached the Shannon / Thompson family with an offer giving them a raise to between $15,000 and $20,000 an episode. It might not curtail the family’s love of dumpster diving and coupon shopping, but it sure beats a sharp stick in the eye! So what’s in store for the family in 2013 and what will they do with all that newfound wealth?
Mama June’s buying lap band surgery and by season’s end, she’ll be almost one-hundred pounds lighter and totally unrecognizable.
Looking back on 2012, we may have survived the Mayan apocalypse (as I predicted we would) but we also were witness to tragedies we won’t soon forget, from Aurora and Sandy Hook to the natural and man-made disasters of Hurricane Sandy and Obama’s re-election. But 2013 is a brand new year, it’s the only year numbered 13 most of us will ever live to see, so call it a lucky 13 and make it a good one.
Ah what a spectacle it was . . . the commercials, the halftime show . . . oh yeah, I heard they even played a football game.
I was looking forward to Matthew Broderick reprising the Ferris Bueller role. He looks pretty good 36 years gone by, he may end up one of those guys like Regis Philbin or Dick Clark that just never get old and you have to wonder if they sold their souls or just have access to a better plastic surgeon than the rest of us.
A little disappointed to see no other cameos from fellow Ferris alumni, I can understand kiddie porn lover and photographer Jeffrey Jones not getting the call to reprise the roll of Principal Rooney, but Jennifer Grey (Ferris’ sister) Alan Ruck (his best friend, Cameron) or Ben Stein doing the “Bueller . . . Buller” from the original “Fry” line would have made for a much better commercial.
At the very least, they could have gotten this out of work actor to reprise his role as the drug addled bad boy in the police station and it wouldn’t even have involved any acting on his part.
Then there was some chick named MIA on the halftime show. When the rapping starts, I usually make my way towards the refrigerator or the bathroom, so I missed it, but apparently, she flipped the bird to the viewing audience in America and the world at large.
You were MIA to me before the Super Bowl and hopefully you’ll be MIA to the rest of the world after the Super Bowl.
MIA Should Go Back to Being Missing
The highlight of all the festivities? Definitely had to be Will Ferrell showing off his secret talent as a tightrope acrobat.
Who would have thunk a guy with so many multi-million dollar movies under his belt could have joined the circus at a young age and spent his life delighting circus goers in relative anonymity.
You have to catch the ball when you’re supposed to catch the ball,” she said angrily to those around her.
“My husband cannot f–king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”
source: NY Post
That would be a pretty good sports take if she wasn’t half of the multinational corporation that is Gisele and Brady. I get that she’s upset and sticking up for her man after a tough loss, but surely she’s seen enough post-game interviews to know that 100 times out of 100 times, a player will never blame their teammates no matter how well he might have played or how poorly they might have played. You just don’t do that and you certainly don’t need your wife out there spouting off and laying the blame on your teammates for you.
I get that it must have been frustrating for her to have to watch the dropped balls (three by my count, one big drop by Welker that would have brought them close to going up by two score late in the game and two more drops the final drive) but you just don’t call out your husband’s fellow teammates, because they have to be there for him next year, they have to be there for him to pick him up when he’s not having his best game and they’re the ones who have to have his back when the other team is trying to rip his head off.
Definitely a tough loss for Brady, a guy who has gone from a perfect 3-0 to 3-2 now in Super Bowls, but somehow I think that two supermodels headed for a million dollar vacation can find a way to get over it.
We’re three days in on the new year, but nothing much of note has really happened so far, so still not too late to unload my psychic powers on the world . . .
Spun Honey’s Predictions for 2012
1. Coming off the 9-6 LSU victory in the regular season, in the LSU – Alabama rematch for the BCS Championship, someone finally manages to score a touchdown. The way those defenses are playing, forget picking a winner, that’s a bold enough prediction right there.
2. Drew Brees manages to outgun Aaron Rodgers at Lambeau Field in the NFC Championship, taking his Saints to the Super Bowl. The Ravens, who had a regular season record of 6-0 against playoff teams, beat both the Bengals and Patriots, but end up losing in the big one. They never need an excuse to party down on Bourbon Street, but it’s Super Bowl number two for the Saints and the people of New Orleans.
3. The day before the vote on the Stop Online Piracy Act, Google, Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook launch a black page protest, shutting down service and asking their loyal users to tell Congress to get their cotton-pickin’ hands off the Internet. Congressional phone lines are flooded beyond anything the Capitol has ever seen, and in a stunning reversal, SOPA bites the dust.
4. Hollywood will earn $500 billion less in domestic box-office sales from the previous year, just as they did in 2011, and the movie studios still remain completely in denial, crying about piracy when the real problems Hollywood faces are a dearth of new ideas (nothing but remakes, sequels and comic book adaptations) a public that prefers their own home theater experience to over-priced movie tickets and the fact that video games are drawing more and more people’s disposable income.
5. Video game sales will break records again, hitting $20 billion and doubling Hollywood’s take for the first time ever. While video games are just as easy to pirate as movies, you hear very few calls from the video game industry for the government to have an Internet kill switch.
6. London Olympics are smashing, baby! Security is tight, no terrorist attacks, and the only incident is when a bunch of hooligans get out of hand with the celebrations as Great Britain pulls off the upset Gold Medal in football.
7. The Israelis will not and cannot allow the Mullah Hitlers to have nukes in Iran and the much anticipated airstrike is launched. Thankfully, predictions of oil at $250 a barrel are exaggerated, with oil maxing out at $198 a barrel. Gasoline rises to an earth-loving $8 a gallon, and the Obama administration couldn’t be happier.
8. Documents come to light proving what everyone already knew, that Attorney General Eric Holder was guilty of perjury when he denied having knowledge of Operation Fast and Furious. Fortunately for the Obama administration, all the news channels outside of FNC decide the story is not as newsworthy as the reports on Katy Perry’s second divorce and whether Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, so the story is never even mentioned.
9. On a personal note, I’m able to stay on the straight and narrow with no cigarettes and I get back down to my target weight of 200 pounds this year, but it doesn’t matter because . . .
10. December 21, 2012 lands most conveniently on a Friday, and Mayan apocalypse parties are going off all across America. When everyone else wakes up hungover on December 22, they realize there is no Mayan apocalypse, we survived to suffer a fate far worse, because just a month previous, Barack Obama was given another four years.
They say he has the intangibles, the heart of a champion, he has all those things you can’t quantify that makes someone a winner. His winning itself is so unexplainable, they’ve taken to calling it “Tebow Magic” because it seems like you can only explain it as something supernatural, something not of this world, so I ask myself maybe, just maybe, has Jesus Christ become a football fan? Has Jesus taken an active interest in this man, Tim Tebow, the most overtly devoted worshiper of Christ in football history?
Tebow's eye black, Ephesians 2:8-10 reads, 'For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast.'
The Tebow phenomenon is the story of how a man who had been slighted, doubted and disparaged by most analysts came in to take a hapless 1-4 team going nowhere and turn it into a 7-5 team headed for the playoffs. The story is also of a player who has put religion into the forefront of the discussion about football and how Tebow has become a lightning rod in the debate as to whether his overt displays of his faith are somehow inappropriate for the football field. It’s a story so improbable, he’s become a man so polarizing that the Tebow phenomenon has become a bigger story in the NFL than the Packers themselves, a 12-0 team in pursuit of perfection and a Super Bowl repeat.
Never has a player had so many doubters . . . from Tebow’s FRS energy drink commercial, self-described, but a career summary few would deny:
They said I couldn’t be a high school quarterback, they said I couldn’t get a [division 1 college] scholarship . . . that you can’t make it, you’re not good enough, you’re not skilled enough . . . they said I couldn’t win a Heisman, they said I couldn’t win a national championship, they said I wouldn’t be a first round draft pick, they said I couldn’t play in the league, ‘ppreciate that.
Source: Official FRS Healthy Energy Fuels Tim Tebow Ad
And yet at every level, despite all the doubters, Tebow just kept doing everything they said he couldn’t do.
It didn’t stop when he made the NFL. After the Broncos got off to a 1-4 start, the Denver faithful were clamoring for Tebow to get a chance to play, chanting his name, and in what looked like a throwaway season, the greatest Bronco of all, John Elway gave into the fans, probably thinking he’d just throw Tebow to the wolves and be over it. You see, John Elway thinks you need a great pocket passer to win championships (you know, a guy taken straight from the mold of John Elway himself) but sometimes, being a great player does not make you a great judge of talent.
In Week 5, after being put in the 2nd half with his team down 23-10 to the Chargers, Tebow almost pulled off a furious comeback.
The next game was his first start. Down 15-0 and with the game on the line, Tebow suddenly injected life into an offense that had been sputtering all game, throwing a TD with 2:44 to go in the 3rd and then another TD with 17 seconds on the clock, and the entire game came down to do or die, a 2-point conversion to tie, and Tebow did. Tied at 15-15, the game went into overtime, and Tebow led the team down the field to an overtime win. Both a game-tying 4th quarter drive and a game-winning overtime drive in his first pro start.
With a hiccup – getting clobbered by Detroit in his second start – Tebow Magic then went on to roll for five straight wins:
- two road game victories against divisional rivals at the Raiders and at the Chiefs
- beating the Jets with less than a minute to go on a memorable game-winning 20-yard TD run by Tebow
- on the road against division rival San Diego he lead two more drives to add to the collection: a 4th quarter game-tying drive and a game-winning drive in overtime.
- at Minnesota, he showed clutch passing in coming from behind twice in the 4th quarter, a game which the Broncos won on a game-ending FG.
As Tebow was leading his team to these victories, the cameras would cut to shots of Elway in the team suite and as he clapped somewhat artificially Elway’s face looked as if he was sucking on a lemon. You could almost read his thoughts, “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way, I was willing to give into the clamor of the fans and put this guy in and watch him flame out so we could be done with the whole Tebow experiment and go back to finding ourselves the kind of pure passing quarterback the Broncos deserve.”
They say he can’t throw a pass, how he’s got the worst mechanics of any NFL QB we’ve ever seen and I’ll readily admit that he’s thrown some of the worst looking passes I’ve ever seen watching pro football, but here’s a stat that overrides all of that, I call it “the Tebow 4th quarter clutch factor”:
Ugly as he can look in the first three quarters, through seven games, Tim Tebow has a quarterback rating of 109.7 in the 4th quarter and a rating of 120 when his team is within 7 points. To put that in perspective, in an 11-year Super Bowl winning career, Drew Brees has logged a QB rating of over 100 for the season only three times, with the highest at 109.6.
The scary thing is, I have a feeling that if Tebow can do it in the 4th, one day he’ll figure it out and learn to play with the same mindset and passing accuracy in the other three quarters, and when Tim Tebow learns to take his Tebow Magic and spread it across all four quarters . . . look out NFL!
As a Raider fan, even when the Broncos were too far back in the standings to worry about them, it was still such a strange thing to feel my Raider heart rooting for this Tebow kid in a Bronco uniform, but now that the Bronco team that was a hapless 1-4 have come storming back to win 6 out of 7, tying the Raiders for the AFC West lead at 7-5, it’s time to recheck my allegiances.
I’ll say it right now – Tim Tebow, I predict you will win every game to finish out the year and make the playoffs, I predict you will beat each team you meet in the playoffs and I predict that you, Tim Tebow will win the Super Bowl and be awarded the MVP.
This is Raider fan and yes, I just put the jinx on you, Tim Tebow.
May Jesus have mercy on me.