Letters from the Lunar Outpost

'Tis not a lip, or eye, we beauty call, But the joint force and full result of all.
- Pope, English Poet, Critic, and Translator (1688-1744)

This may sound like a paid endorsement, but what this really is, is a love letter to my new car.

10. When I slip out of my parking space, I am as quiet as a ninja! (Don’t worry pedestrians, I’ll be paying extra attention in keeping an eye out for you.)

9. Ford is back, baby! What a beautiful thing to see the styling and the technology on my new Ford standing toe-to-toe with all of the Nissans and Hondas that I test drove. It was not that way for many years.

8. My car is so smart, it adjusts the rate of my windshield wipers to the level of the rain!

7. When I get in the car, it automatically fires up the audiobook player on my phone right to the spot where I left off. Nice!

6. My car is so smart, it sets my high beams when traffic is out of range and turns them back down when cars come into range!

5. My car is so smart, it learns my frequent charging destinations so when I get within an 1/8 of a mile of home or work, if it was running on gas, it switches over to all-battery knowing I’m most likely just about to arrive for a recharge. Don’t underestimate how those eighths of a mile can add up!

4. The green stickers that come with my PHEV give me free reign to drive solo in the car pool lanes! Depending on if you ask me while I’m flying past traffic in the car pool lane, I might often tell you this is my #1 favorite feature.

3. Having the combination of a plugin / hybrid means I can make that trip out to Vegas and back without having to worry about finding charging stations along the way.

2. My car is so smart, if I go six months without having to refuel, it will switch over to the gasoline engine just so the gas in the tank doesn’t get too stale.

1. Getting 1000 miles on my first tank of gas is just freakin’ AWESOME!

My Ford Fusion Energi

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2 Responses to Top Ten Reasons Why I LOVE My Ford Fusion Energy

  • Cars are dead, man. Where you get that shit-ass fancy-man attitude? Just because you CAN AFFORD a fucking stupid “personal vehicle” doesn’t mean that shitheads have to BUY one. Oh, I know Homer Trump says no to Paris accord, so just fuck that environmental shit, eh? Drive Away, Drive Away, Dumbo!

    • . . . “fuck that environmental shit, eh?”

      Hey Robert, I’m getting 1000 miles to a tank of gas and I have the freedom to drive wherever I want, whenever I want, but you go right ahead and enjoy your public transportation. Pay no mind to the fact that your environmentalist overlords laugh at all the little people below as they fly their private jets from one global warming conference to the next.

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